


How It Should’ve Happened

by Tkorg



Series: Malec stories [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Awkward, Breaking and Entering, Crack, Flirting, M/M, Magnus has a ungodly huge penis and it’s too much for alec, Mission Impossible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 04:34:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14205177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tkorg/pseuds/Tkorg
Summary: Alec proposes him distracting Lorenzo whilst Magnus checks the fault lines... but it’s a lot harder than he thought it would be.





	How It Should’ve Happened

Alec was nervous. He fiddled with the cuff of his sports jacket, unrolling and rolling it back and forth as he stared at the beautiful mansion before him. Fuck, he didn’t know why the hell he suggested such a dumb, dumb idea. 

He had saw how Lorenzo had looked at him, at the party. He noticed how the other man’s eyes wandered where they shouldn’t have when Alec had his back turned. Alec didn’t know why, but it seemed as though Lorenzo had an infatuation with him. 

Alec had tentatively explained this to Magnus, before introducing his plan. Magnus had nodded along, face growing hard as Alec meekly confessed he had caught Lorenzo ‘checking out what wasn’t for sell’. 

He expected Magnus to be upset. From all the movies, that Izzy forever him to watch, he had deduced that a boyfriend becoming overly jealous and irrational was natural when confronted with... competition... whether it was threatening or not. 

Magnus was a bit pressed, not at Alec thankfully. He had scuffed and muttered something in a language Alec didn’t understand. He let Alec know that it wasn’t his fault that he was so attractive. 

The reaction help build Alec’s confidence to propose the plan to figure out what was wrong with the fault lines, which he now regretted. 

He was going to distract Lorenzo, giving Magnus time to check everything out. He had done something similar but it had been a disaster. He can still see the annoyed face of the female cop. He wasn’t good at flirting then and top of that she was a woman. This was much different. Lorenzo was sort of attractive, he could make it work. 

“You can do this, you can do this.” He whispered to himself. 

“Good evening, Mr.Rey.” He greeted politely, with a fake smile as Lorenzo opened the door. Alec hadn’t even noticed he had pressed he doorbell.

“Good evening.” Lorenzo greeted curtly. He squinted his eyes at Alec with suspicion. It made him look like a rat... with those piercing, beady eyes he had. Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, he thought. 

“May I come in?” Alec asked, nodding towards the door Lorenzo had trapped in his hands.

“Of course.” He opened up the door, just enough for Alec to have to squeeze in... rubbing up against the other man as he did. 

“May I ask why you’re here?” 

“I over heard your conversation with Magnus.” 

“And you’re here to defend his honour, I’m assuming.” Lorenzo sighed.

“No, actually. I’m here to let you know...” Alec swallowed, almost forcing the next words out. “-that if your claims are true... I will help you bring Magnus in.” 

“Well, well, well.” Lorenzo clicked his tongue. “What a loyal boyfriend you are. I expected different, especially seeing as though he totes you around like a lap dog.” He added, smirking. 

“I care about justice.” 

“How honourable.” Lorenzo stared at Alec for a while, scanning every part of him. Alec felt as though his tight clothes were too tight, too revealing. He wished he was wearing a parka instead of a snug fitting three piece. He wished he could chew on his nails, avoid the other man’s gaze. 

“Would you like a drink?” Oh, fuck yeah. Alec could use many drinks. 

“Yes.” Alec responded, thankful that Lorenzo started to walk into a huge living room so that they weren’t just standing awkwardly in the door way anymore. 

“You have a lovely home.” Alec complemented as Lorenzo turned toward a table, where he was making their drinks. Alec looked around, catching Magnus pop in the house from outside.

“Would you like a tour?” Lorenzo asked once he turned around, siping his drink. He was smiling, eyeing Alec playfully. Alec took the drink he was handed, stopping himself from chugging it whole. He felt tense as he thought of Magnus hiding behind the couch. They could be caught at any moment...

“That would be delightful.” Alec grinned. He hated how dumb Lorenzo made him feel. He hated how he felt the need to sound smarter. There was just something about Lorenzo that was so... patronising. 

He followed the other man up the stairs, nervously glancing towards the couch. Magnus was waking around now. Alec felt his heart beat quickly. He took a huge sip of his drink. 

Lorenzo showed him some art, and some rooms, babbling about the history of each items that he found interest in along the way. Alec had to force himself not to roll his eyes. Yeah, I get it, you’re old and amazing, he muttered in his head. 

Magnus was never this stuck up and egotistical. Sure, Magnus did take pride in how cultured he was and the experiences he had gone through but he never threw it in Alec’s face as if it made him better. 

“So, Mr. Lightwood, Alexander.. May I?” 

“You may.” Alec lied. Something about Lorenzo using his first name made his skin crawl. Only Magnus was allowed to do that. 

“What’s the real reason you’re here, Hm?” 

“Pardon?” 

“I’m not dumb... I know this is about Magnus but not in the way you’ve said.” Lorenzo stepped closer. Alec took a mental deep breath. This is for the safety of the world, he reminded himself. 

“You’re right. I am here for another reason.” Alec fake confessed, sighing and shaking his head. He kept his head down a bit, looking up at Lorenzo through his lashes. 

There was a noise, it sounded like the mansion was shaking. Fuck. 

“Sex.” Alec said abruptly, catching Lorenzo’s attention from the noise.

“Unfortunately... um that is an issue I’ve been having... with Magnus.” Alec blushed. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Lorenzo’s face light up with curiosity.

“Oh, is he not as well endowed as you would have hoped? You know what they say about-“ Alec didn’t let him finish his train of thought. 

“Actually it’s the opposite.” He said, trying to sound less defensive and more exasperated. 

“He’s just so, so big and frankly it’s too much for me.” Lorenzo raised an eyebrow. Fuck, Magnus hurry up, he cursed mentally. 

“Really? So why are you here then?” 

“I’m... I don’t.” He stuttered. How was he supposed to explain himself now that he’s just implied that Lorenzo has a small penis, though it’s probably true?

“Do you want more to drink?” Lorenzo nodded to Alec’s drink. It was empty. Huh, Alec hadn’t noticed. 

“Um... no, no.” 

“Oh well I’m going to go get me more.” Lorenzo started down his huge stairs, Alec following behind anxiously. What if Magnus is still down there? 

He wasn’t. Magnus had finished and was waiting outside. 

“Are you sure you don’t want more?” Lorenzo asked.

“No, actually... I think I better be heading home.” 

“So soon?” 

“Yes. I just realised that... if I want somebody with a smaller- penis... I should look else where.” Alec stuttered, adding a shaky chuckle at the end. 

“Hm, well if you ever change your mind.” 

“Oh definitely.” Alec nodded. 

“Well I’ll walk you to the door.” 

They walked in silence, Alec mumbling a good evening as he exited the mansion. He pressed his hand to his chest, feeling his heart pump quickly. Wow, what an adrenaline rush. He walked over to the side of the huge house, near the bushes. 

“How was it? Is he suspicious?” Magnus whispered. 

“No. He just thinks you have a ungodly huge penis.” Alec responded in a hushed voice, causing Magnus to grin widely. 

“It’s always nice to know the truth.” 

“Speaking of that... what about the fault lines.” 

“They’re not good. I’ll explain more once we get back.” Magnus said in a serious voice. Alec nodded. For a second, he had almost forgotten how serious this situation was but sometimes it’s nice to have a small break from such problems... even if you’re potentially creating smaller ones in the process.


End file.
